I took a serious approach to blogging when I first began. But every now and then, I wanted to wind down from it all—writing, work, life in general. So I started a fake band called The Office Band. Did I ever mention that I love drumming? Started doing it before writing way back in high school. I haven’t played on a real drum set in a year or two, but that doesn’t stop me from playing on any hard surface I can find. Like my desk. The Office Band is my way of throwing all of my passions—writing, music, metal, violence—into a blender and sharing the resulting smoothie with everyone.
After an extended hiatus, with fresh band members Henrietta (yarn harp, backup vocals), Sven (conch, glockenspiel) and Weird John (fiddle, recorder), I was able to finish work on our junior album. Behold the awesomeness below!
The Office Band
Reunion of the Unemployed
- Game of Cubicles
- Eat mechanical lead
- I got the envelope from Manila, the capital city of the Philippines.
- Penny’s loafers
- Where’s the activity code for YouTube?
- Order your desk calendar on the rotary phone.
- Work of shame
- He brought me deskfast in chair
- The coworker I never met before said, “Hey there, how was your night?” and I said, “Yeah.”
- For your hard work, here’s a gem sticker.
- 3-way with the partners
- The D.N.S. turned P.O.W.
- The fellowship of the coffee creamer
- You get 30 minutes for lunch and 1,000 likes to use on Facebook.
- Making 1 hour of work look like 8
- Human natural resources
- The refrigerator monitor and her machinegun
- They had a face to face meeting, then woke up in the ER.
- Please find grenade attached
- The senior VP of don’t-do-shit and his apprentice, Mr.daddy-got-me-dis-job
- Patty won’t be okay—it’ll take her a “year to date” again
- Unusual business as usual
- The Chief said, “How? How could you?”
- Get down and give me 30 customer service reps.
- I said, “I think we should touch base,” and she said, “Where’s the baseball field?” and I said, “Right here—let’s go all the way to 3rd,” and she said, “Harassment,” and now I’m making more money by collecting unemployment!
- Can I go home? I’m drunk.
Be on the lookout for side projects in the near future!